The media so often gets it wrong. Reports of my death in a tragic accident in hospital are quite untrue. You have to expect diabolical things to happen to you when you enter the operating theatre of course but they usually do things to improve your health in the long term. So I’ll admit I did have a prostate thingamajig done while I was anesthetised but the torture came later when a nurse would come and squeeze a bulb containing liquid into my lower regions every half an hour for four days. I did survive however; I even survived the near death trip the driver gave me when he drove me home in a hurry. How I miss it the thrill of all those sensations!

Without going into any detail here the matter of the lease was resolved after a week or so and I now found myself with high blood sugar. When they tested me they told me I should have been in a diabetic coma with a blood sugar level of 33. Would that be a useful experience I wonder? Probably not! The fact is high blood sugar gives you funny eye sight, wobbly legs, it can even do permanent damage if it continues for too long so looking at my computer or the T V was difficult because things would periodically change focus or go fuzzy. I found I couldn’t spend more than hour on this machine at a time and anyway the brain was also a bit fuddled. “Enough,” she cried, “I’m satisfied!” I immediately replied, “I hear you! I hear you!” So now you know why I have not given you my incredible insights on everything around me recently. But I will write a blog whenever I find something serious or something to laugh about from now on.