Archive for the ‘Funny Stuff’ Category

Our Future World

Monday, December 14th, 2009

The way the world economy is run and all that results from it has a finite life span. “Progress” is moving at lightning speed and is growing exponentially. To cope with that we have to dig the STUFF they need out of the ground like crazy! I wouldn’t do that I would save some for later.

We don’t live in a contented world where we are happy with the basics of life as I believe we once were. Instead ego and greed are the driving forces. People forget that if everyone on the planet had the same standard of living as those in the USA then we would need six planets.

Then there is the problem of global warming which will only get worse as greed will regulate the atmosphere not common sense. We know we have passed peak oil which again can only mean the price of petrol will rise to phenomenal levels perhaps in less than ten years. Then there is the problem of food. Already there is a grave shortage in any parts of the world which will only get worse as the population gets bigger and the climate change adversely affects the farmer’s crops.

You would have to ask if the bureaucrats had really got a handle on the world’s problems. Of course not! Fiddling around and making deals at Copenhagen to limit carbons emissions won’t solve a thing always assuming someone gives an inch which to me is doubtful in any real sense. What is needed is a gigantic change to the whole structure and way of life in the world. That would not only solve the climate problem but also the financial ones. The way we live in western countries means we get more and more selfish. We want more and we are never satisfied with what we have which in turn feeds the massive money making machine called progress. The rich get richer and the rest get more and more into debt trying to buy all the things on offer motivated by advertising including food. In general you could say we get fatter having more things to make us poorer!

The bins get collected regularly full of STUFF we can’t eat because we waste a lot, stuff we don’t want and our out of date used toys. Our working CRT TVs will get dumped for flat screens now we are becoming digital all filling up the rubbish tips. The faster and better new models of everything we produce the more resources are used up; most of us get into debt one way or other so we pay enormous fees for credit and the financiers are laughing because they can hardly spend our money fast enough. The rich retain their self respect by giving tiddly bits to charity which of course qualifies them for a tax deduction and leaves a mere scratch on their ever increasing bank account totals.

Then more and more people are being crammed into less and less space. We all know what happens in the animal kingdom when that happens. Maybe that’s one cause of drunken violence. There is not much indication that most people are becoming more loving and caring. People are becoming less so because their purpose for existence apart from sex – which is more of a sport these days than it ever used to be and I don’t only include golfers in this – is having THINGS. Spiritualty is becoming rare. The church questionably once supplied some of that sort thinking and guidance but never true spirituality. Today, many services now are more like a sales meeting for Jesus and a threat at the end to pay up or else Hell will be your next destination. We all know that evangelists pocket most of the loot so Jesus doesn’t really benefit. It’s a sad world full of mostly selfish people who only want money and THINGS like an expensive car or a large yacht. Damn it, wish I could join them! Well not really! Although it would be a thrill at first and money is useful stuff but as I’ve learnt in my quest for spirituality it would be short lived happiness and not long term satisfying. They say the rich are always trying to protect their wealth so they have money worries too.

Something needs to change before it’s too late. But will it? I have found big companies and politicians would not voluntarily look round the corner to see if the wind of change was blowing (unless it hit them hard enough) especially if it meant changing something they’ve been happy with for centuries and such change might bring about a sense of unpopularity with V I Ps, poor chance of re-election and a lot of extra work. Naa! Naa!

It’s business as usual, crisis management will prevail and no-one will stand up and say things to advocate the real change to society that’s needed! Global warming you’ve won.

Now I thought it was worth mentioning that I seriously thought about writing about golf but I decided against it because the birdies might cause problems later.

Computers and Dinosaurs

Sunday, January 4th, 2009

Well this is the New Year and I’m full of resolutions just like this lady.

 

http://www.themarketingalchemy.com/2009-a-really-sad-year-for-you/

 

Only I hope my resolutions are more sincere!

 

Firstly, I wanted to talk about dinosaurs. I always thought dinosaurs were substantially green and grey in colour but I discovered that was a mistake when I visited my computer man. One look at my computer he announced with ridicule, you have a white one, you have a dinosaur. Did you know the colour of your computer was so important? He didn’t actually specify which particular species of dinosaur it was because I have little knowledge of the prehistoric kind so there was no point in my guessing but he did emphasize that he knew it belonged in that category because of its colour. “I see”, I answered, “So if I have to have a green one instead, will that work better?” He smiled from ear to ear, well almost, because in his case his mouth wasn’t quite wide enough but he emphasised the modern colour is black.  Why hadn’t someone told me that before I wondered? The colour had never been a consideration for me before. I receive hundreds of emails from all sorts of guru’s everyday giving advice on how to run an Internet business but no one had ever mention the importance of the colour of the case and no one had ever told me my problem with the lack of my money making ability was because my computer was white! I obviously was not going to argue at this startling revelation because now he was offering me a new one for only $800 he told me which was all I needed to make a million bucks in 2009 on the Internet so the investment to achieve that was minimal. What could I say but YES! When can I have it?

 

I usually have a little tease with the man before I pay him but because he’d set me on the road to huge riches this year I found the money quickly and paid him within two days then I noticed a small problem with the machine. I rang him on the following Monday morning to ask for his advice and was told he’d passed away the night before. I was flabbergasted. I been trying to persuade him to give those white paper tubes filled with dead leaves for years but although he had made some effort I don’t think he completely succeeded. I guess his lungs were not in good shape to withstand the pneumonia that caused his demise. How sad. What was I going to do now with my three year warranty because he was a one man band?

 

By the way, what colour is your computer?

The God Machine

Friday, September 12th, 2008

Have you heard? They are keeping it very quiet of course but it’s must hit the main media soon. Those people in Europe working around the God machine are in trouble. I mean real trouble. Some have disappeared completely so I’m told, it’s suggested they may be in a different century, some have suddenly become old age pensioners and some have become school children again. Just a few have resisted change because they have very special powers I’m told because they eat a special breakfast cereal perhaps?

 

Rumour has it they are about to set up a special school for those who have de-aged and then the others who suddenly reached old age are going to have a real pension to live on (unlike pensioners in Australia).

 

This is real science fiction come true! What else will they discover?

 

There’s some talk of a black hole motor for cars. That’s not new is it? If the colour of the exhaust is black smoke it must have a black smoke generator, where else than from a black hole? I know quite a few of those already on the roads. But these burn petrol, if these future machines don’t require petrol then they are really onto something.

 

So how would you set about building a black hole motor? Quite frankly the pictures of the God machine I’ve seen on TV are quite large; it’s hard to imagine one scaled down small enough to fit under the bonnet of a car. The energy needed to produce a black hole is enormous so where is the saving? So if you didn’t want to generate a black hole locally perhaps you could buy one?

 

Surely you can’t export black holes? The black hole this God machine produces is surely not something you can put in a packing crate and send overseas. If you tried to transport the hole itself, the packing crate and the aircraft and everyone inside the aircraft including the aircraft itself would go into the black hole and disappear wouldn’t it? Then you’ve lost your cargo, the passengers and pilot and end up with nothing! Perhaps that’s so, I don’t understand it.

 

This black hole thing is really a very concept to difficult to deal with as I see it. They talk about enormous benefits for mankind in the future but my thinking is will mankind have a future after this gigantic Armageddon machine gets up to speed in a few weeks time?

 

What of the future? Will it produce a new system for moving prospects directly to your website I wonder? What are your thoughts on how it might affect our future?

Exposing Yourself to Viruses on the Internet

Sunday, July 20th, 2008
You would think surfing Traffic Swarm would have minimal dangers. I thought so anyway. Yet the other day when I was trying out the free system called Traffic Swarm Busted and attempting to get sufficient credits, I managed to get three viruses one after the other. One was really nasty and corrupted my Office files so I had to do a reinstall after the virus was removed. What I hadn’t realised was these viruses can also affect your eyes.
 
“You’re kidding aren’t you?” “No! I am serious! Afterall, why not?” I asked, “there is bird flu which is passed from birds to humans then there is the Hendra (hope that’s how you spell it) virus which is passed from horses to humans. Why not a computer virus which is also passed onto humans?” That’s logical isn’t it?
 
My eyes were affected, regardless of the sceptics, they were weeping and bloodshot after using the computer. I thought a good night’s sleep and all would be cured but then I thought, no, maybe not, so I spent the morning trying to find a chemist who would prescribe eye drops and eventually found one. He was surprised I had come to him because he said because most people go to a computer shop to get their viruses treated.
 
He was being a bit silly I thought. I don’t go to a computer shop for cough mixture, do you?  Anyway, this pharmacist agreed to cooperate and he sold me some eye drops after checking I wasn’t leaking brain fluid through my eyes. I did admit I was a bit cracked but that was quite normal for me.
 
When I got home I thought about it. The virus had come from the Internet as we know so I put a few of my prescription drops in my modem but unfortunately that didn’t help. Then I thought, should I try my eyes instead? Almost immediately after I used the drops the bloodshot effect diminished. He’d told me it would go by evening.
 
I’ve learnt my lesson here and you too should be warned. Don’t ignore the warnings when your computer says it’s threatened, you may be too. Be prepared; always wear protective glasses when viewing your computer if you want to be sure of avoiding a virus infection in your eyes.